Saturday, November 25, 2006
我们没见面6年了。。我希望你在另一个世界，会是幸福的。。
Today is dad's 6th death anniversary...i wouldnt say these 6 yrs has passed swiftly, it hasnt...ever since the day dad left me, im empty..a big part of me has left with him...
To dis day, i still have not came to terms with the fact that dad is gone..guess i never will till e day i die...sometimes, i reali wish to leave, to find him...im tired...breathless...
Friday, November 24, 2006
ok, so finali came the outburst. They had quarrelled...neber did i expect this to happen after 2 yrs...always thot they have already became amicable to each other.
Anyway, this quarrel is a harsh one, guess will leave a scar on both for e rest of e journey...i do not have any idea what will happen in future..onli wish to not see anymore heart wreachin moments like such...
I am tired....let me rest....
Sunday, November 12, 2006
我讨厌强颜欢笑，我讨厌在他人面前，必须装着开心的自己。
我讨厌哭泣，我讨厌眼泪决提时，发现多么脆弱的自己。
这个时候的我，没有人知道有多无助。。
突然之间，我仿佛失去了生命的平衡点。我不知道，下一分钟该做些什么，或该想些什么。
我不想跟他人分享，也无人能分享。。一直以来，我靠的都是自己。 这个无助的自己，我还能够信赖吗？ 我真的不知道。。
我甚至为了逃避那一刻的到来而开始存了负面思想。。想离开这个世界，已经不是一朝一夕的事了。自杀的人，是弱者吗？是生活的逃兵吗？ 我想。。他们只是觉得太累了，不想再走下去了。。想到另外一个环境去透透气。。。我，对这个念头，也是向往的。。
Monday, November 06, 2006
It was event day last sat. Burnt whole of sat at bugis junction lan shop. The event somehow reminded me of events i help out wif at 972 few yrs back...though they are not reali related in any sense.
Hmm, maybe i shld switch line to do event cordination, i realized i find satisfaction when events are held successfully..haha..
Today was a slack day, got half day off in lias of sat's event....reached office at 130 due to e heavy rain....it might be due to e weather, most of us are feelin slacky....tml shall be start of another phrase of preparation...argh, tell me how i can kip my mind workin and not switchin off at times...i wan to stay sober!